MeRepresents

Some thoughts. Sometimes I think I'm exhausting to talk to. I have this annoying habit of taking things too profoundly much more than how it was intended. For instance, one minute we could be talking about selecting an ice cream flavor, and the next thing you know the conversation trails into deliberating whether or not we have the free will to choose. I begin to take notice that not everyone likes to be engaged in topics like these out of the blue. I can't blame them, though. Down to their very core, these subject matters have no final conclusion. It would be an endless search for an answer and that does sound tiring. On the other hand, it is easier to pick an ice cream and simply eat it. In turn, this made me learn to hold my tongue, or I should say, my mind? That latter one, I admit, is harder done. After all, overthinking is my specialty. In this entry, I jotted down some topics that could invite dialogue.  Some peeves. I am open to any kind of topic...except for politics. ...

The best feeling in the world is gratitude. The worst feeling in the world is hopelessness. At times like these (in context of the COVID-19 pandemic, most of the world is under quarantine),  we are in the frustrating phase of liminality. Both thankful for what we have, and fearful for what we have to lose. I, for one, am grateful to have a house over my head, a family who keeps me company (despite how ridiculous they can be); I am also thankful for the wonderful friends who are always there to send a warm hug or a hard slap my I need it the most (despite how ridiculous I can be). I am thankful for I am given a chance to write and to read. While there are numerous other little things one can be grateful for, I'll let you keep those few to yourself. Take a moment to remember what or who makes the turmoils of life less difficult. I hope that little exercise made you smile today. 😊

Envy. It is a seed that drains the lifeblood of your soul. It is for, I, we, the people whose loneliness blackens the light of the mind, and soon the heart. So dark, that even the slightest ray is lost in the void of dissatisfaction for as long as the eyes turn to the next yard. It only serves the master of pride. Envy, I say, has scorned the lives of many. Push it deeper, and it borrows within. It does not go away. It will not go away. It is a trigger that fires a gun not unto the object, but the subject of unwillingness, and surrenders to it anyways. With an envious heart, one scorns the self in the mirror. It's a shadow that pulls all insecurities to resurface, even the ones once befriended. It turns your friends into foes. Kindness to pitty. It corrupts. And it shall degrade you. Eat you alive and make you feel as if you are alive. A zombie. And it is I, pride, who shall keep company. It is I who shall remain when you die. Pride is a clingy little thing. You cannot rid ...

Go on, Break me. Shatter my heart into smitthereens-- Challenge me to love again. Because I will always choose to love I will always choose. What are you afraid of? You have nothing to lose. You never wanted this anyway And I-- I know myself well enough. But why are my eyes wet, Why do my lips still tremble, And why am I angry? This unwelcomed hurt Feels too familiar-- That it no longer is a stranger I am aware. And like a pheonix, I will, inevitably, rise from the ashes.

13.25php I had a tiny coin purse,  and one lazy day, counted the coins:  13 pesos and 25 centavos. Thirteen silver coins with  a tiny yellow bit--indignant  to still be called a coin, tacked one by one  onto my hands. Silver as it seemed, was not at all. And lo, money stripped more than the universality  of chronological value                   when  they  invented  centavos.  A man once bought a house for 1 peso.         Another bought a man's life for 25 centavos. Tell me:  What can I do with  13 pesos           and 25 centavos?  Can I buy a dream? A car? A toy car? A knife? A bread? A bird? Can I buy my brother a bird? How much do I have to pay for  13 pesos and 25 centavos? An inch of skin, perhaps 8, a staff of ...

For distance over time, we shall one day. Hey Let's drink sometime. Let's intoxicate our body with the fluids we know will do  more harm than good but we do it anyway. Let's drown our throats  with the bittersweet liquor by now we forget how many we already had they keep coming anyway Let's drink in the dark, cold, evening bodies warm and red from the alcohol With the darkness, we don't hide Let's escape together. Let's drink sometime so that I can tell you  that I love you-- Why am I saying this? Let's drink sometime  so I can tell you the truth then blame it on the one, too many shots Let's drink sometime  so I can hear the truth then  forget you ever said it in the morning. Let's drink sometime Because sometimes, the truth hurts and it's eating away my skin-- exposing me bare, sucking the very youth I covered ourselves in. Let's drink sometime so that ...